A group

First let me describe the group, as best I can. There were our 7 clients, myself and Hargopal, my co-leader and Mrs Chand, (a Reiki master trainer, an elderly Indian woman acting as our translator.) I had several things on my agenda for the group. Families were coming onto the unit for the first time - a sanctioned visit. I wanted to prepare the guys for this visit. I asked them to close their eyes and imagine what they would feel when they first saw their families walk onto the unit. They each said “Happy”. I then asked them to see what it was they saw in their families that led to that feeling. They all said some version of “They will see how well I am doing. ..will be pleased with my progress, …, will be happy to see me.”

I have been working to help these guys get some sense of themselves as separate from their families, some sense as autonomous individuals. This has not been easy. (I’m not always sure it is desirable; some say that in this culture, it is not possible.) So I said something like, “It makes sense that both you and your families will be happy that you are doing so well, are drug free, etc. However, there may be times when what you do is still best for you and it doesn’t make them happy.” I gave some examples. My attempted point was simply that it may be that someone is unhappy with you but still loves you, is still your family, etc.

I tried another example. The night before we were watching the Diwali celebration at the Golden Temple on Television (I would love to tell you what a pain in the ass it was to get a television hooked up in this “5 Star” mental health hospital, but I don’t have the time.). We had some sweet treats. I was sitting in the back. One of our clients, sitting in front of me folded a candy wrapper into a pipe; he gave it to his neighbor who pretended to smoke it. They were laughing, having fun, very ‘innocent’. I caught Varun’s eye, he gave me the ‘pipe’. I had wanted to address this incident in group.

I acknowledged that they had been playing. Nevertheless, I was frightened by their play. I was frightened because I had heard their stories of misery and loss that was a direct result of their drug usage. I let them know how their play had impacted me and why. I was assured that it would never happen again, “here or outside of here”. I wasn’t interested in their assurances. I wanted hem to know that there was good reason to not go down that road, even in play. I wanted them to know that I noticed and was impacted and that it made a difference to me and they made a difference to me. I wanted them to know that I still loved them and that in the sense that we are family, we are still family.

We ended with a chant for guidance and protection and healing (sent to the families, to the client who had been injured and to each other )– Guru Guru Wahe Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru. We did it for 11 minutes. There was a very beautiful energy in the room. (The Reiki lady said the entire room was filled with a purple flame. Could be true; who knows about these things :>).

I’m not sure what the therapeutic agents are in a group like this. Ad on the translation process (never sure what is being said; Quite sure it is not simply what I am saying.). The contact with the men across all the barriers of language and culture feels real and valuable. The impact of the yoga and meditation is undeniable. Our good intention (prayer) and their good intention counts for a lot. Add in some time away, herbs, not doing drugs, juices and teas, the cognitive work, the power of the group, play…, - who can say? The purple flame…, who knows about these things :>)